fyodor dostoevsky and oblivions to jazz
performed by:
string quartet (i)
My series “Fyodor Dostoevsky and Oblivions to Jazz” was written alongside my reading of Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Notes From Underground, which made a profound effect on me. For those who aren’t familiar with the novel, the novel is written from the perspective of a man “too conscious”, who lives in 19th century Russia. He shares his nihilistic and deterministic philosophies, to try and prove man’s lack of free will. These thoughts quickly torture him and prevent him from functioning, failing the most basic forms of social interaction. He becomes unwanted by his friends and denied by a woman previously in love with him. By the end of the novel he’s pitied for his way of thought, as if he is truly the fool--the ignorant one.
Reading the novel, I felt connected to the “Underground Man”. I’m tortured by my thoughts of man’s significance on the planet. I look at sunsets and stars and question why we perceive it so beautiful. It keeps me up at night as I consider humans’ genetic fate, determining every action only in correspondence to reproduction and survival. My life, like moments with friends or witnessing a beautiful sunrise, has been interrupted by these thoughts, just like the Underground Man. However, reading the book, I grew to despise the narrator, witnessing the wasteful and arrogant decisions he made, knowing I relate to him. It was painful relating to a character I hated so well.
marimba and bass clarinet (ii)
I wrote these pieces to represent the thoughts of Fyodor Dostoevsky’s character, and their arrogant, pitiful qualities. The title “Fyodor Dostoevsky and Oblivions to Jazz” represents the “Underground Man’s” oblivion to living freely, by which I use jazz to euphemise, as it’s carefree and ruleless. I developed a philosophy that while life may be meaningless and even cruel, might as well enjoy it--if life is meaningless, to live freely, solely because we are capable. A positive-nihilism, I like to call it.
In my compositions I utilize atonality to embody the confusion and incomprehensible nature of the planet, as well as overpressure and dramatic melodies to express the resentment I have of these useless and despicable thoughts. I hope others can hear my pieces and deem these sabotaging philosophies as useless and ineffective. Alternatively, one can allow the disappointing reality of our planet to encourage joy, art, and insignificant pleasures, before our insignificant time is up.
performed by:
Transient canvas:
Amy Advocat, Bass clarinet
Matt Sharrock, marimba
Worcester Chamber Music Society:
Krista Buckland Reisner, violin
Rohan Gregory, violin
Peter Sulski, viola
Ariana Falk, cello
